Wednesday, January 22, 2014


The last half of last year was really hard for me. Particularly after we moved. Don't get me wrong, I love our new apartment and I was happy to move...things were just different. I wasn't as happy as I was before. School was constantly bogging me down, and I didn't enjoy it like I usually do (I usually love school and doing homework. I love to stay busy).

At the start of the new year I decided I wanted to make some changes. I started writing in my journal more (I would rarely write in in, unless it was related to general conference or church). I started working out again. I also started going to institute again. Since leaving LDSBC, I stopped taking institute classes full time. I would go occasionally, and then I completely stopped going at all, blaming it on school or work. This year I realized I didn't really have any excuses to not go, especially since now that we live in Bountiful I don't go home during my 3 hour breaks at school. So before the semester even started I found a class and registered for it. The class is Pearl of Great Price (something I have never truly studied in depth before). The first day I was amazed at how differently I felt. I was not only happier, but I also felt lighter. I had been feeling burdened with different trials I had been going through. It was amazing to me how one single hour of being in a gospel infused setting could change so much. I am learning so much and my testimony is growing with each class. We discuss deep gospel doctrine (something I don't really get a lot of being in primary every Sunday). Our teacher is very knowledgeable in the gospel and often answers our questions with scripture references.

I find it so incredible how one small tweak in my life could make a huge change in my happiness. I now understand why President Monson urged college students to not only attend institute, but to make it a priority in our lives.

I would like to end by sharing one last thought that I had this Sunday. For the sacrament hymn we sang "Reverently and Meekly Now". I have never really paid much attention to the song, but as we were singing I realized how much I needed to hear the last few lines of the song:

I have loved thee as thy friend,
With a love that cannot end.
Be obedient, I implore,
Prayerful, watchful evermore,
And be constant unto me,
That thy Savior I may be.
I knew all along what was missing these last few months, but I was too lazy and sad to change anything.  From now on I will be more "constant" unto my Savior.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Come Thou Fount

One of my all time favorite songs has always been Come Thou Fount. It has always calmed me down when I have been upset, or lifted my spirits when I've been depressed/sad. This week my grandfather (on my mother's side) went into the hospital. He had a tear in his heart due to high blood pressure. Yesterday he had a chest x-ray that showed congestive heart failure. Today he is doing well, considering what he has been through.

This happened on December 30th. I found out on New Year's Eve and immediately traveled to Reno (where he was in the hospital) with my aunt, uncle and cousins. We just got back yesterday. Overall, this week has been extremely difficult. It was so hard seeing the man I've always known to be brave and strong in a hospital bed in the ICU.

One of the only things that got me through this week was singing in my head Come Thou Fount. It helped me remember to have faith that everything will work out, to know that everything happens for a reason and not to lose hope in my Heavenly Father's plan for us. I think it is very important in hard times to remember that the Atonement of our Lord and Savior is not just for when you sin. It is for when you feel pain, sorrow, affliction...He suffered for it all. Sometimes it is hard to remember that when I'm feeling sad, he felt that too. As the hymn I Stand All Amazed states:

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,
 Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me.
 I tremble to know that for me he was crucified,
    That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died.

I truly do stand all amazed, It is incredible to me that Jesus Christ suffered for all of us, he felt our pain, sorrow, and suffered for our sins. 

I will end this blog post with my favorite verse in Come Thou Fount:

 O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above